You know that rule that fake cops don't give each other tickets? Let's just say it isn't a real rule. My dad is a cop, and when he got pulled over, he didn't even mention being another police officer. I decided that it would be a good time to mention it. The arresting officer wound up giving him a bigger ticket, figuring that a cop who was speeding deserved it more. At least that's what he said. He sure didn't give my dad a discount.

I am a commander in the Army of Tour Booties. I was on a mission to inspect a platoon that was stationed in Iraq. I was assigned a young private to drive me around. One day it was apparent that we were lost in the desert. He pulled over to take a look at the map. I asked him if he knew where he was going, and he replied, “sir, I know where I’m going, I just do not know how to get us there.”

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